What happens when something that is supposed to be the most joyful, though tiring, time of your life turns out to have you singing the blues? It is not at all uncommon to feel this way after (even before) having a baby. Today, we have a guest post someone that experienced just that. I hope you will be encouraged by Mrs. Z’s story and share with someone that may need to here it!
Before we move on to the post, I feel it is important to point out that Baby Blues is not the same as PPD. You can check out this Real Moms Talk post for more explanation on the difference between the two.
(Did you miss the Real Moms Talk interview with Rachel Bowers on Maternal Mental Health?)
Bringing a baby home from the hospital is suppose to be a joyous time. You brought new life into the world. A new life with a clean slate and endless possibilities. This tiny human being is yours and life is suppose to be amazing.
That is what everyone tells you, right? And for the most part it really is an amazing time. Looking back on it, I wish I could relive those first few weeks. The thing is that most women won’t tell you about the strong emotions that come with having a baby. Maybe they don’t say anything to protect you. I am not quite sure but I wish someone had clued me in just a little bit so that I would have been prepared for what they call the “baby blues”.
I don’t really like to call it that but it has become so engrained in our culture to call it that. Like I had mentioned in my last post, I loved my job. I loved talking to people and having a schedule. Life with a newborn is not consistent and definitely far from having a schedule. (I have since given up on being so perfect. Life with kids does that to you 😉 ).
I remember coming home from the hospital and not having a clue as to what to do next. Life was all about changing diapers, feeding, sleeping. It was on constant repeat. Time to take a shower? Forget that. Time to eat? Well, I always found time to eat. But it was always with a baby in my arms. Get a manicure and pedicure? Not likely. Go run an errand? Forget it. Just order it through Amazon.
I even remember one moment where I was so lost and broke into tears. I laid my head down next to my dog and cried my eyes out. I remember looking at my dog and saying “What did I do?”. I feel so guilty that I felt that way. However, those emotions you feel after the baby is born are so strong.
I don’t want to scare anyone about having a baby. It is the greatest thing I have ever done (twice). I love being with my boys. However, those first few weeks are like nothing you will ever experience again. Many of those memories are blurred images in my mind. But the one thing I remember was being exhausted. And I cried. A LOT. I cried whenever my baby looked at me with this gorgeous eyes. I cried when I thought of him being a grown man and not needing me anymore. I cried about the demand that was being put on me for every single thing.
I know not everyone goes through this but it was such a difficult time in my life. And for those of you who might be going through this right now, just remember: You are not alone. A lot of people I knew had babies around the same time and I would see pictures of their perfect lives on social media. That actually made me feel worse because I thought that this was just me. I would look so hard but I only saw happy babies and perfect lives. Then it hit me: These pictures are a one second snippet of someone’s life. Who knows what chaos ensued right after the picture was taken.
The “baby blues” will pass. I know it is such a repeated phrase but here it goes: Please enjoy these moments while they last. I actually can’t believe I am saying this because when older moms would tell me this I wanted to poke them in the eye. In all honesty, I would do it again and again. Even with all of the emotions, hormones, and recovery that comes with it.
More About Mrs. Z
Mrs. Z is a stay at home mommy to two wonderful boys and wife to an amazing husband. Spending time with her family, writing, and enjoying life are some of Mrs. Z’s favorite pastimes. You can check her out at The Mrs. Z Files. You can also find her on Facebook, Pinterest, and some of her work on Huffington Post.