Is Motherhood Really That Hard?

You will never be well rested again“. This is the first thing one of my co-workers said to me upon hearing the news that I was pregnant. And for the next several months, I heard many variations of the same point about motherhood. It’s exhausting. Oh, and also demanding. And if you can take a shower than you’re pretty much a mommy rockstar.

Though, I don’t think one could ever be prepared for what motherhood is like, I do feel like I was very well prepared for it to be… well… hard. Sure, they always throw in the token, “it’s totally worth it” but that’s not always so convincing when you’ve  just been painted a terrifyingly exhausting picture of what your reality will soon be.

Yes, motherhood is tiring. And, yes,  it can be overwhelming. But something I have learned in this first year of motherhood is that it’s really not as hard as I thought it would be. 

Maybe it’s like the highly anticipated film that’s been built up so much that you leave the theater feeling let down, but in reverse. Perhaps motherhood was built up to be so exhausting and so overwhelming that I’ve been pleasantly surprised that I (usually) shower, always brush my teeth (apparently not everyone does) and though I sleep a lot less I do sleep (like a rock, even if only for a couple of hours at a time).

Is Motherhood Really That Hard?

I am not in any way saying that motherhood is not challenging. And I’m certainly not saying that it’s not exhausting. In fact, many of the things people told me are true but I had no idea that my feelings of wholeness and joy would far out weigh my feelings of being overwhelmed and tired. 

The laughs, smiles, hugs and kisses are just too wonderful for words.

When my son and I read or sing or dance, I rarely think about how tired I am. When he’s having the time of his life splashing in the tub, the diaper blowouts  and constant wardrobe changes never seem to cross my mind. When he’s playing in the church nursery or squealing in the ball pit at play group, I always forget that we barely made it out the door that morning (sometimes with both of us in tears).

Yes, like many things in life, motherhood is hard. Some would argue it’s the hardest but I can’t think of a single “hard” thing that has made me this happy and fulfilled.

No other “demanding” person in my world has ever been so easy to love. No difficult situation has seemed quite as worth it. No long, grueling day has ever left me feeling so satisfied.

So, is motherhood really that hard?

Motherhood will always bring challenges and some heartache even (more so?) when the kids are long gone. Ultimately, though, I think it’s different for everyone. Each mom has her individual set of circumstances. Some women face hardships in motherhood that others do not.

But even if it is that hard, as a good friend of mine told me when I was pregnant, “it’s the hardest job you’ll ever love”.


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18 thoughts on “Is Motherhood Really That Hard?

  1. Kristen May 6, 2016 / 11:23 am

    I feel like motherhood does have the hype of being the hardest thing you’ll ever do, and in some ways it can be. “It’s the hardest job you’ll ever love” made me cry though. That is beautiful and carries so much truth. ❤

  2. Tara May 6, 2016 / 4:47 pm

    It really is hard and totally worth it. It doesn’t always get easier as they get older either–just different. Each stage has blessings and challenges. But we choose to remember the blessings.

    • inezbayardo May 6, 2016 / 9:38 pm

      Yes, I can see how each stage would bring different challenges and blessings. I just wish people shared more about the blessings than the challenges. 🙂

  3. Faith May 6, 2016 / 7:02 pm

    Good to know. 😉 I’m not a mom yet, but really looking forward to it when God wills. I’m looking forward to following your journey of new motherhood. 🙂

    • inezbayardo May 6, 2016 / 9:27 pm

      Thank you, Faith! It is truly wonderful. There is nothing like being a mom. 🙂

  4. Helen May 7, 2016 / 6:17 am

    Oh it IS the hardest job we could ever love, for sure. I think it is hard – mine are 10 and 8 now and there are certainly hard times and hard places BUT I still wouldn’t trade it for anything else!

  5. Jennifer DeFrates/Heaven Not Harvard May 7, 2016 / 6:34 am

    For me the baby stage was hard in a physical way – being tired all the time! I was working full-time and my husband was deployed overseas. Now it is hard in an emotional way, being patient and kind even at 8:35 when she needs ANOTHER drink. But I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

  6. Pamela May 7, 2016 / 8:29 am

    I do think we focus on the hard of motherhood sometimes instead of the fullness of joy that shines through the cracks of our mothering. When my children were little I thought of one way Melanie made me smile that day. That kept the sun shining in my heart! That goes for teenage years, too. They aren’t nearly as horrid as people try to say!

  7. marie May 7, 2016 / 3:58 pm

    it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. also – sometimes the most painful. either way, the best. I do miss seeing my kids daily though. I miss being with them but know they are doing well in their adult life.


  8. rebecca greene May 7, 2016 / 10:50 pm

    So funny that I read your post as I was typing my own Mother’s Day post about how being a mom is hard for all moms, so we should stop the mommy wars. I do think the sleep deprivation of the first year can be the hardest part though I think for me I certainly worry way too much about every single decision I make with my little one.

  9. Meg @EveryMomDay May 8, 2016 / 9:37 am

    It is hard at times, but it’s definitely worth it – as cliche as that sounds. As moms, we just do what needs to be done. It’s hard at times… but I wouldnt trade it for the world! Happy Mother’s Day!!

  10. Hil May 8, 2016 / 1:29 pm

    I find it really hard. I found it easier with one kid, but with two kids 21 months apart I find motherhood really hard. Amazing, awesome, fun, yes, but incredibly challenging. This past year with two kids has been hands down the hardest year of my life.

  11. Catherine @ Ten Thousand Hour Mama May 9, 2016 / 9:46 pm

    Motherhood is hard. Motherhood is wonderful. The two statements are not mutually exclusive.

    Also, I found like Hil that having 2 kids was a million times harder than just one. I’m still trying to get my feet under myself with 2!

  12. danielle wells May 11, 2016 / 8:56 pm

    I think that if you keep things positive, everything is better! It’s all about the attitude!

  13. Myda Tahir May 12, 2016 / 3:53 pm

    Thanks, Inez, with the good support system as you also have , it is not that hard but very tiring indeed.

  14. Jed May 13, 2016 / 5:34 am

    As a daddy to four girls–including a one month old–I love thinking of parenthood as “the hardest joy you will ever love.” What a great line. Wishing you a very happy, belated Mother’s Day!

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