Pregnancy often brings on a myriad of worries, concerns and fears even when it’s not high-risk. I can only imagine the elevated emotions that come with a high-risk pregnancy. For today’s Real Moms Talk post we are talking high-risk pregnancy with Megan from My Faith Tree. I love Megan’s story of relying on God’s faithfulness and promise that he would never leave her, as she navigated through the unknown.
God Is Still Faithful And He Is Still With Me (Our High-Risk Pregnancy)
My husband squeezed my hand.
We had decided to find out whether we were expecting a boy or a girl. He had a feeling the baby would be a girl. To be honest, I had no inkling at all as we walked into our 20 weeks scan. I laid down on the bed and the softly spoken ultra sound technician squirted the cold gel onto my growing belly. As she completed the anatomy scan she quietly confirmed our baby was in fact a boy!
My husband’s eyes teared up and we squeezed each other’s hands. The technician also mentioned something about there being a cavity in my uterus that she hoped the babies leg wouldn’t get stuck in. No more information was given. We had an appointment later that week with our obstetrician so we figured if there was any need for concern it would be addressed then. We went off on our way that Saturday with our hearts bursting as we envisioned what our family of three would be like with a little boy. Little did we know the news we would hear by the end of that coming week.
Three days later I had a call from the radiology department telling me there was nothing to be concerned about but they needed me to come back in as soon as I could. Well, that didn’t sound routine and telling me not to be concerned did the complete opposite. I rang my husband, we both left work, and we met each other at the hospital.
When we arrived we had a different ultra sound technician who simply stated they had not taken clear pictures of our son’s feet and needed to rule out clubfoot. Phew! Do not get me wrong, I don’t think clubfoot would be something easy to tackle but we had visions of our baby not being alive.
Later that we week we attended our obstetrician appointment and asked him about the initial concern of there being a cavity that our son’s legs might get stuck in. He couldn’t find any notes of this in the paperwork sent from the radiology department so he took another look on his smaller ultra sound machine. This is when we began to realise our pregnancy experience was about to take a big turn towards being a high-risk pregnancy.
We were referred to the top maternity hospital in the state where further tests were done. It was confirmed I had bicornuate uterus. Simply put, this means I have two horns or cavities to my uterus where the normal uterus has one. A normal uterus is an upside down pear shape, my uterus is a heart shape. You can read a bit more about it here. (Our Story: World Prematurity Day)
I remember the specialist sitting on the edge of the bed and leaning in close telling me the findings and informing me I would need to educate myself on the signs of pre-term labour as this was very common in this situation. When I asked from what week of pregnancy I should be watching for this, she said from right now. Keep in mind we were now 21 weeks! This is not the news any expectant parents want to hear.
I went home and cried my heart out. Fear began to grip my heart and it was hard to see any way through it for a day or two. I ended up grabbing my bible and writing out every verse I could find about the promise of children and God’s protection. As fear seized my heart I read these verses over and over again so they could soak into my soul. Slowly, my heart started to fill with more peace than fear.
Having a high-risk pregnancy throws any sense of control out of the window. I could not plot the journey the future of this pregnancy held but I could cling so tightly to the one who holds the future. Jesus.
There were no promises from Jesus that everything would be fine but there was His presence and His promise to be with us no matter how this pregnancy turned out.
At some point, my husband and I decided to enjoy each moment of the pregnancy. It was our first pregnancy and we had waited so long to fall pregnant. We could choose to enjoy it and cherish every moment or we could stress and maybe still have a healthy baby at the end but have missed all the blessings of enjoying the journey.
There were bumps along the way with spotting and many Braxton hicks. We would have many check ups and I would be constantly requesting prayer from my prayer network. At 29 weeks the discomfort I felt was almost unbearable. I had SPD (Excruciating Pelvic Pain), constant though irregular in timing Braxton hicks and my son was in the frank breech position and placing enormous pressure on my hip joint. Every check up I was told our son was healthy and strong and that my pain was just normal pregnancy ailments. In hindsight, this was not correct. My body was preparing for labour.
At 31 weeks I was using crutches to move around when I absolutely needed to. At 32 weeks I started spotting, again, for the fourth time in the pregnancy. My braxton hicks were becoming regular. Late one night we went into emergency to ease our minds about what I was experiencing. We learnt the spotting was, in fact, me starting to lose my mucous plug (the plug that forms in your cervix to hold everything firmly in place when you are pregnant) and my braxton hicks were no longer braxton hicks but contractions.
My local hospital tried to slow the labour down without any luck. I was transferred by ambulance to the specialist maternity to hospital where they tried other methods to slow the labour down. I was given steroids to help with our sons lung development as well as other medications to slow the labour. The labour did slow and I stayed in hospital for three days after which they discharged me with strict instructions to be on complete bed rest home. By the time we got home (30 minutes later) I was in labour again. We were told to stay at home and see if things settled down again.
Over the next 10 hours we were in constant contact with the Maternal Fetal Assessment Unit (MFAU) and following the instructions they were giving. Early the next morning after finally falling asleep my husband wakes to see if I am ok because I had been moaning in my sleep. I groggily woke up to then have my waters break 30 seconds later. A quick call to the MFAU and my mum and we did the mad dash to the hospital. I was 33 weeks that day and our son was still frank breech.
Our son was born via emergency c-section. He weighed 2.6kg and was 51cm long. Praise God he was such a good size for a preemie. I didn’t get to hold him until the next day. Oh, he was so tiny and so delightful. We have a picture of me sitting in a wheelchair in the NICU holding him for the first time. My husband is behind us beaming. I remember him squeezing my hand just like he had when we found out we were having a boy. We had made it. He was here and he was safe and healthy.
Our son did have a few issues over the next couple of weeks that are common with preemies and needed to be cared for in the NICU. There were many emotional ups and downs over that time. But God was faithful. He had been faithful through the pregnancy, through the labour and birth and he was faithful in the time we spent in the NICU too. Yes, it is easy to say he was faithful because everything turned out as a ‘happily ever after’ in this story. That is not why I declare God’s faithfulness though.
I declare God as faithful because he never once left us. He was with us the whole journey. We weren’t spared the anxiety or fear that came. We weren’t spared a dramatic emergency birth. We weren’t spared the journey through the NICU. We weren’t spared the moments of watching our son stop breathing when he had bradycardias. But God’s presence NEVER left us. He walked with us. He made me strong when I was a weak emotional mess on the floor crying my eyes out after our son was born. He gave me hope and strength.
Our son turned 3 in January this year. He is bright and in the top percentiles for everything. There is no sign of his prematurity. I still have some ongoing physical issues from the trauma of the pregnancy. But God is still faithful and He is still with me.
Who is Megan?
I am a devoted wife and proud (though often exhausted) mum. I am also a trained teacher who is employed as a music specialist. These facets of my life bring me much joy and purpose but the life source that flows through each and every thing that I do, is the pure fact the I am God’s. I am His creation, I am His daughter and I am loved by Him more than I will ever know.