By now you have probably heard the term “Mommy Wars.” It just doesn’t sound right. As moms we are supposed to be peaceful role models for our children. We teach our kids not to fight, to think of other people’s feelings and to be kind to others. I have struggled to find just the right words to sum up my thoughts on the “Mommy Wars.”
Instead of finding just the right words, I was inspired to create a photo montage with my local mom friends who were happy to jump on board!
I am convinced that not once has a Harvard grad attributed their success to their mother keeping such a meticulous house, or how she made perfect dinners from scratch. I am also convinced that if at the end of the day you have kept your kids safe and alive, you’ve pretty much done your job. We all bear the same burdens in motherhood. We all get a label at some point. Maybe you have been labeled as the fun mom, the mean mom or the crafty Pinterest mom. Maybe you are judged as the mom who spoils her child, who doesn’t discipline enough or is too strict. But, most certainly none of us are labeled or judged as the “Perfect Mom.”
No matter what our style of mothering is we have all run the same course: stomach bugs, sleepless nights and feelings of self-doubt. All of these quintessential mom moments level the battlefield on which we fight our “Mommy war.” None of us is free from flaws and certainly none of us makes perfect decisions. We all have the same end goal: to raise healthy, happy and productive humans. Does it really matter what path we follow to get them there?
The really cool part about this project is that I know every mom pictured here personally. We’ve celebrated birthdays together, brought each other meals and have encouraged and supported each other through the trials of motherhood. As we stood next to each other smiling and holding signs with our “opposing” mom choices I realized how lucky I am. Despite the different choices we make in our parenting we can still be friends without judging each other. If I only choose friends based on our same choices I may never know what other options I have in my parenting. I love that we are all different and respect each other’s choices.
How do you join the Whatever Mom Army? Answer this call to arms: do whatever it takes to let go of your fears and worries that you are not enough. Take up the charge to own your mom choices. Decide right now to be confident in your decisions because any decision you make in the best interest of your children is the best decision you can make for them. The question about the mom war isn’t “which side are you on?” The question is, “can we all stand together?”
Publication of these photos is expressly prohibited without consent from the original photographer Danielle Sidarous.
Meet Roxanne the “Whatever Mom”:
The Whatever Mom is a twin mom learning to let go of perfection. She shares her real life struggles with parenting through her blog and contributes her time and talents as a writer to Hudson Valley Parent and Masshole Mommy. When she isn’t writing you can find her chugging coffee, folding laundry and not judging other parents.