Motherhood and Relationships (Real Moms Talk)

Real Moms Talk

One thing that I was not prepared for as I stepped into motherhood was how it would change my relationships. I had no idea that it could be so lonely. I mean, before I was a mom I felt like everyone was a mom but me. I’m in the mom club now, how could I feel alone?

Relationships can be difficult to navigate, maintain and invest in. For anyone, not just moms.

I think motherhood just has its own unique challenges when it comes to navigating relationships. I know, for me, I feel like I’m in a constant war within myself. A war of wanting friends (maybe even give a crack at romance again someday) and being totally consumed (ok, maybe obsessed) with my baby.

If we are not intentionally looking beyond the things that fill our day to day lives, we can easily neglect other things and people – even if they are important to us.  Anything outside of our daily routine becomes mentally exhausting.

In theory, I would love to get out. Go to lunch with a friend. Maybe even go to a movie theater again someday but then I start thinking about how that would require me to wear something other than yoga pants. And I’d have to coordinate schedules with my mom for babysitting.

What if the baby is fussy that day? What if I’m fussy that day? Then I think I could get together with a friend with our babies. But wait… do I still need to take off my yoga pants? And then I have to put the baby in the car and that car seat is so heavy.

Nah.

I think we all have our own version of how we talk ourselves out of investing in relationships and, yet, we all need and desire them. Healthy relationships make us better people and better people make better mommies.

How about you? How have relationships changed for you since becoming a mom? Do you take time for your relationships (other than your kids)?

This post is a part of the Real Moms Talk series. We will be talking relationships all month!

12 thoughts on “Motherhood and Relationships (Real Moms Talk)

  1. Khalilah March 5, 2016 / 4:27 pm

    Awesome concept! Isn’t mommyhood AMAZEBALLS?! I absolutely love being a mom. Thanks for sharing!

    Please check out my latest blog post: You dress cute…we get it! But what else do you do?

    http://www.khalilahskloset.com/

    • inezbayardo March 5, 2016 / 7:57 pm

      I love being a mom, too! Thanks for stopping by. I’m going to check out your blog. I’ve been looking for a fashion/beauty blogger to guest post for the Real Moms Talk series. 🙂

  2. Terri March 5, 2016 / 6:28 pm

    This is extremely true. Sadly, people don’t really relate until they’ve gone through similiar. I’ve found that once I just commit to a day out for myself – whether that includes quiet time or time with a friend. Once I’ve moved past the hesitancy and actually step out in nature – I remember – I NEED that guilt free time.

    • inezbayardo March 5, 2016 / 8:46 pm

      I am learning that… just commit. It’s only taken me 9 months to get to that point. haha Thanks for stopping by, Terri!

  3. Megan Elford March 7, 2016 / 1:19 pm

    Yes, it’s so important to set aside time for ourselves! And yes, those friends that we spend that time with — they change with our life stages. I guess it’s inevitable, but it’s kind of sad when it happens 😦

    • inezbayardo March 8, 2016 / 11:26 am

      Yeah, it is kind of sad. But, like every season, I’m learning there are new friendships waiting and even some old ones to reconnect with. Thanks for reading, Megan!

    • inezbayardo March 7, 2016 / 9:10 pm

      I completely understand that feeling!

  4. De Bolton March 9, 2016 / 5:14 pm

    It is a little hard to invest in relationships as a mom but if they’re a mom they understand and it’s easy to pick up where you left off even if it’s 3 weeks later. Its hard to transition from season to season but you’ll figure it out and forget how hard it was at the beginning. The friendships you do sustain are so much more valuable.

  5. Jed March 10, 2016 / 5:14 am

    Thank you for these insights. Jenny and I are excitedly counting down the days to the arrival of our fourth daughter. Your article is a good reminder that I’ll need to be extra supportive, and sensitive to her needs, post-pregnancy too. You mommies really are amazing.

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