The Question I ask When Facing Big Decisions

The Question I ask When Facing Big Decisions NoviceMommy Blog

When I was about 21 years old, I found myself at my first major crossroad in life (the first of countless crossroads to follow). I remember sitting out on the porch of a friend, who was more of a mentor at the time, discussing this crossroad. I had no idea that I was about to learn a lesson that I would carry with me for the rest of my life – I didn’t know that from this conversation, I would now ask myself this question every single time I faced a big decision.

I highly respected this woman. She was the wife of a well-known evangelist/motivational speaker, a gifted speaker and minister in her own right and the most admirable to me – an amazing mother. As I shared my dilemma with this her, I really just wanted her to tell me exactly what to do. Because I respected her so much and trusted her judgment I would have done whatever she felt was best.

I was fully prepared for her to tell me what she would do if she were me. But she didn’t.

Actually, I take that back. In a sense, she did. She just didn’t line it out how I would have liked her to.

All she said was, “go with peace”.

That’s it?

I am guilty of wanting to talk things out over and over (and over) again – weighing this decision over that, scrutinizing to make sure I didn’t miss some kind of sign or clue.

But what I learned that day from a “simple” response is, often times,  if  I would just stop talking or looking, I already know the answer. The answer is peace.

I have learned that, instead of going with what seems “logical” or looks like a “dream come true”, I need to go with what gives my heart a sense of peace.

If you are trying to find peace in something, right now isn’t the right time. If and when the time is right, there will be peace. You don’t have to try to get peace by manipulating the situation. It’s either there or it’s not. And I have learned that until or unless there is peace, it is best not to make a move.

Can we pray for peace?

Absolutely! When I was giving birth to my son, after being in labor for 3 days, the midwife expressed to me her concern about letting me continue without Pitocin, which almost always means an epidural as well. I did not want either. But I was tired and I wasn’t progressing. I cried a little and then I called my friend (and Doula). After talking to her I felt better about the situation but I was still afraid.

Peace and fear cannot coexist.

I told the midwife that I needed some time to get over my fear. She said that was fine. Everyone left the room and I waited – for peace. I prayed and I did not move forward until I felt calm, at peace and no fear.

Even in less than ideal situations, we can have peace. In fact, we need peace.

The next time you are facing a big decision ask yourself this question, “Do I have peace?”.

Always go with peace.

Linking up with Whole Mama.

15 thoughts on “The Question I ask When Facing Big Decisions

  1. Gayl Wright January 20, 2016 / 12:50 pm

    Inez, I love this! Sometimes we are in such a hurry for the answer when we really need to wait. Wait for peace. Yes. Thanks for sharing your words!

    • inezbayardo January 20, 2016 / 9:52 pm

      Thanks so much for stopping by, Gayl! 🙂

  2. Michele Morin January 20, 2016 / 4:10 pm

    Such wisdom: go in peace.
    Let not your hearts be troubled. Neither let them be afraid.

    • inezbayardo January 20, 2016 / 9:52 pm

      Amen! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  3. Sarah @ Sarah on Purpose January 20, 2016 / 8:46 pm

    This post gives me goosebumps. What a vibrant and wonderful question to allow your life to be guided by.

  4. Anonymous January 21, 2016 / 1:11 pm

    Oh yes this is perefect. A lot of us in our twenties just want the answers and are afraid of the adventure called life. But if we find rest in Christ we will find that peace you mentioned. I love how you said we can pray for that peace as well.

  5. danielle wells January 21, 2016 / 4:36 pm

    What a great thought! Peace! I know that Hubby and I don’t make decisions unless we do peace about the decision. That really helps to point us in the right direction!

  6. Susannah January 22, 2016 / 8:38 am

    The Lord is a Lord of peace and we need to remember that always! He will definitely grant us His perfect peace!

    • inezbayardo January 29, 2016 / 8:23 am

      Yes, He will! Thanks for reading, Susannah!

  7. Amelia Richardson Dress January 22, 2016 / 9:33 am

    “You don’t have to try to get peace by manipulating the situation.” Such a crucial reminder for those of us who get impatient waiting for God to work. Thank you for this today.

  8. Anna Harris January 22, 2016 / 2:49 pm

    I absolutely love this!! Having is peace is the way I make all my decisions. Some people sometimes don’t understand because they don’t think you can gain perfect peace in every situation but I have found that to be wrong, at least in my situations. Even when I don’t understand something I can have peace. I like to stand still until the peace comes. It’s so rewarding waiting for God to give me peace in situations. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Tara January 23, 2016 / 8:37 pm

    This is great advice. God gives us peace that passes understanding. I have experienced this so many times. There are many times that I need to remember to ask for that peace!

  10. Erika Shirk January 25, 2016 / 2:07 pm

    Always go with peace. What a lovely answer. Thanks for sharing that with us this week, Inez. Beautiful.

    PS- I love midwives 🙂 Always so supportive.

    • inezbayardo January 25, 2016 / 9:08 pm

      Thanks, Erika! Yes, I love midwives, too! Even though my birth didn’t turn out how I wanted, I’m grateful I had one. I think it was easier for me to accept the circumstances coming from someone I knew was a champion for natural childbirth.

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