Leaving Happiness, Finding Joy (Day 21 of “31 Days”)

31 Days-Unplanned-Pregnancy-Novice-Mommy-Blog

I’ve already learned in the short span of my son’s life that making decisions for your child… well, sometimes it just plain stinks.

I was living in Hawaii at the time that I found out I was pregnant. I loved Hawaii. Yes, I know, everyone loves Hawaii. But not everyone loves living in Hawaii, they’d prefer just to visit.

I loved it. I never wanted to leave. Ever.

But, suddenly, I found myself in a situation where I had to make a tough choice.

I didn’t go down without a fight, though! I initially had no plans of moving back to California, closer to family. I was determined to stay.

When people would suggest it, my answer was always “no”. I didn’t want to leave. Especially not in the state of brokenness I was in.

Ultimately, though,  I knew that the best way for me to finish a healthy pregnancy and to transition into motherhood was to go back to California.

As much as I hated it, that was the best decision for my son.

So, at 17 weeks pregnant I boarded a plane (in tears) and headed back “home”.

I would love to say that it’s been “easy” but it hasn’t. I desperately want to be back in Hawaii. Some days I get angry, really angry, because I don’t want to be here.

But it’s not about me.

I have to be willing to make sacrifices for my son.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that it’s important for parents to be happy and healthy in order to be their best for their kids but sometimes we need to adjust where it is that we draw our happiness.

Sometimes, for the sake of our children, we may have to give up something that brings us happiness.

But there will always be another source.

Because happiness is fleeting.

Happiness is based on outward circumstances.

Happiness can be found all over, in many different places and many different moments.

But joy is found from within.

Joy is lasting.

It’s a constant peace and contentment. It’s a connection with God.

Sacrifice rarely bring us happiness but it often bring us joy. Denying our selfish desires for the good of someone else produces a sense of joy.

Giving up our “happiness” for others, for our children, can bring us greater peace – greater joy – than any “happy place”.

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