I really had no idea how I would react to seeing my baby via ultrasound for the first time. It was still so fresh and I hadn’t quite come to terms with it all.
While I was in the waiting room I looked around at all of the people.
All of the families.
I could tell there were people there who were seeing their babies for the first time, too. And some that were probably finding out the gender.
There was so much excitement in the air and yet, I felt so much sadness. I really hadn’t given much thought to the fact that I would be seeing my baby. The only thing I could think about was that fact that this wasn’t “right”.
This wasn’t how it should be. My baby should have a family.
As I laid back and watched the screen while my doctor pointed various things out to me, I didn’t say a word.
I was seemingly unmoved.
It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I did. I was very happy that my baby was ok. I had waited for this appointment to get that peace of mind.
Perhaps I was still in shock. Or perhaps, I had focused so much on the heartache and disappointment of the situation that the joy of this sacred moment was being overshadowed.
My sweet boy wasn’t about to let that happen.
He started moving one arm quite rapidly and the doctor said, “He’s saying hi, mom”.
Suddenly, emotion kicked in. I felt my eyes tear up a little.
I’m a mom.
That’s my baby.
We are a family.