Overall, once news of my pregnancy started to get out, people were extremely supportive and respectful of my privacy. There were some exceptions, though.
There’s always exceptions!
I’ve had more than a handful of people say things like, “I didn’t know you were married” or “I didn’t even realize you got married” but one, in particular, takes the cake.
At the time, a few of my co-workers knew I was pregnant but many did not. I was sitting in the break room talking to a couple of people who did know when someone that didn’t know walked in. In that type of a setting, it’s hard to keep it a secret and probably a little rude not to tell someone when they “overhear” it in a wide open space.
She said, “I didn’t know you were married…” Before I could say anything, another co-worker chimed in, “She’s not and she’s going to do this herself. Which is perfectly fine!”
I knew I always liked her.
She was somewhat gruff at times but exactly the kind of person you want in your corner!
I thought this would end the conversation but it didn’t. The co-worker who had made that comment then came over and got real close to me and said, “Oh, that’s wonderful. So, you got a medical procedure?” I was stunned. “Excuse me?” She asked, “You got In Vitro, right?”
I didn’t really know what to say, so I quickly said something about doing it the old-fashioned way. And I left.
I was mortified.
She did come and find me late to apologize, which I appreciated. But I have to say, I was still embarrassed by that interaction.
I wish I could say that was the only embarrassing interaction I had or the only time I felt uncomfortable with the personal nature of people’s questions, but it wasn’t. And it wasn’t always questions, sometimes it was just “gut reactions”. Some of which were more hurtful than others.
I’m not sure why people have felt the liberty to ask certain questions, specifically ones that involve details of how I became pregnant. The interesting thing to me is the majority of the ones that asked the real personal questions or who had the hurtful “gut reactions” were not people that I went to as confidantes.
Often times it’s the ones that ask less and listen more that we are compelled to turn to.
Though, I may have been embarrassed at the time, these awkward situations have taught me something. They have taught me to strive to be the person that people want to confide it – the one that asks less, listens more and prays the most!
We don’t need to know the details of a situation to show genuine care and concern or even to offer wise counsel. We certainly don’t need the details to pray.