Here’s My Mess {Whole Mama}

 Some people have curly hair. Some people have straight hair. I have crazy hair. It’s neither straight nor curly, it’s something in between.

It’s a mess. 

A hot mess.

If you were to compliment me on my hair, you better believe I will proudly say, “thank you”. I may even hug you. It’s hard work to tame this mane.

My niece seems to have inherited the crazy hair gene as well. The other day I went over to her house in the morning and her hair was… well… a mess. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw her and then, as if she knew what I was smiling about, she said, “I don’t know why my hair gets so messy.” It was like she was saying, “Excuse my mess”.

Yes, it can get quite messy but, really, she has beautiful hair. It’s a beautiful brown color, it’s not too thin and not too thick.

So, what if it’s a little messy?

I went on to tell her that I have the same problem. As frustrating as my hair can be, it’s nothing a flat iron and straightening serum or a quick scrunch and curling spray can’t fix.

Later on I thought about my interaction with my niece and I felt kind of bad. I hoped she didn’t think I was laughing at her or that I thought there was something wrong with her hair. I didn’t want her to think that she had to excuse her hair.

It was the first thing in the morning, she hadn’t even brushed it yet. Of course it was messy. No one’s hair looks good first thing in the morning.

We all have messy hair. And that’s ok.

This got me thinking about other messes in our lives and how often we feel the need to excuse them. Or worse, hide them. I’m not talking about our messy homes, kids, cars or desks. Though, we often feel the need to excuse those.

I’m talking about our messy lives.

Abuse.

Fear.

Anxiety.

Addiction .

Rejection.

Failed Relationships.

Perfectionism.

None of us are immune to messes.

None of us wakes up with perfect hair.

I wish more of us would realize this. I wish more of us would be honest with each other and say, “Hey, my hair’s a mess, too!”

Instead, it’s like we walk around with perfect hair, unwilling to admit just how long it took to get it that way – how many products, how much time and how much money have been put into straighter hair, curlier hair, blonder hair and less gray hair.

It’s the same with the messes of our lives. It takes time, energy and even money (therapy anyone?) to deal clean up these messes.  I wish more of us would show each other what we’ve done to overcome our messes or to thrive in spite of them instead of acting as if they aren’t there.

Instead of “excuse my mess”, I wish more of us would learn to say, “Here’s my mess.” 

For it is when we are willing to share our messes that we receive healing; we find restoration; we enter into authentic relationships.

Here’s my mess. 

Check out more posts on the prompt “mess” at the #wholemama challenge.

5 thoughts on “Here’s My Mess {Whole Mama}

  1. Gayl July 10, 2015 / 3:31 pm

    Oh, you are so right. I think in our culture and in some churches, we’ve sort of been conditioned to hide anything that might look like mess. We’re supposed to have it all together, or so we think. But how much better to share our struggles, because whether they are hidden or not, we all have them. If we are willing to be vulnerable and share we can actually encourage and help each other. I liked your messy hair analogy. 🙂 I’m visiting from #wholemama.

    • Inez Bayardo July 10, 2015 / 4:59 pm

      Yes, it would be SO much better! Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

  2. caiobhesblog July 10, 2015 / 9:01 pm

    I have crazy hair too 🙂 Until a few years ago I really had no idea how much effort most people put into making their hair beautiful ( if I spend 5 minutes I feel I’m being high maintenance 😉 ). I thought they just looked that good all the time. I’m all about saying hey I’m messy, so I’m really glad to meet you via #wholemama

  3. Jamie Wright Bagley July 10, 2015 / 9:08 pm

    Hooray for crazy hair! I’ve always been sorta proud of mine even though it is for sure a mess, springing out haywire in humidity, like an old spring mattress in a country backyard. I know in my growing up years I left a wake of facepalms: “Jamie, why don’t you brush your hair?” It was a futile effort when I bothered, though, and five minutes later you couldn’t really tell. So yeah, I think apologizing for the mess was a learned trait, and maybe we are really all born to be delightfully wild in our own ways and expressions, and maybe even meant to love it because it is ours. I hope so.

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